So since June, I had been suffering with ‘hayfever’ and always feeling like I had a cold. I assumed it was where I worked mostly outside in the playground and where I worked with children, I thought I was just catching every bug from them. Looking back I realised that I started to become more and more obsessed with keeping my hands clean at work and constantly using hand sanitizer but i never really noticed it before and no one ever mentioned it to me.
So off I popped numerous times to the doctors to get prescriptions for hayfever tablets. Although the symptoms never got any better! I still had itchy eyes, constant runny nose, sore throat, itchy ears and a constant background headache. I just constantly felt run down and tired all the time but I got on with it. Notice how everything was ‘constant’?!
I started to notice my behaviour changing when I had my 21st birthday pre drinks at my parents house On the 7th June 2014. I shared it with my best friend who was also 21 on the same day (9th June). We both invited our friends and I invited my brother and his friends too. It was supposed to be pre drinks and then off to town with all our friends but when it came to leaving I decided I would rather stay with my brother and his friends instead of going to town which is highly unlike me! I just made some excuse that it was cheaper to drink at home instead of going out and let everyone else go off without me.
On the 25th June 2014 I tweeted that I kept dreaming about pineapples?!
I had a doctor’s appointment on 27th June 2014 for a rash that had developed all over my face, chest, arms and hands. The doctors said it was nothing.
On the 1st July 2014 I tweeted that my eyes were so sore. I was becoming very sensitive to light and needing to wear sunglasses at all times.
Around now was when I started having the awful nightmares where I couldn’t tell if they were a dream or if they were real. They were so vivid I would wake myself and Martin up from them.
I started a new birth control pill called Cilest on 14th July 2014 and my mum and dad were convinced that it had affected my hormones and that was the reason I was acting so weird.
On the 15th July 2014 I decided I wanted to do a carboot and spent 3 days collecting things from around the house that I no longer needed or used. I filled around 12 bin bags and then these sat in my lounge for a month until I finally did a car boot on the 17th August 2014 where I sold most of my stuff for 50p each as I ‘just wanted to get rid of it’! I really regret this now as I realise I was very ill at that point and had no control or understanding of what I was doing and I sold a lot of stuff that I still wanted and needed! I also sold a lipsy dress for £1 that I had recently brought for £15 and only worn once. I had made Martin write out a list of everything that had sold and for how much as I was convinced people were going to steal from me.
I noticed that during June and July 2014 I became very obsessed with slimming world and would get very aggressive with people if they suggested I go off plan. I would also punish myself and make myself feel awful if I went off plan. I had to have everything planned and I had to stick to it religiously.
On the 25th July 2014 I attended my best friends wedding. It was an amazing day and we all had so much fun and got very drunk! Lots of shots which is what my life used to consist of, I loved shots, the alcohol kind, now I’m on the medication kind!
This is when it all started the next day, I woke up with a nose bleed from my left nostril, that just wouldn’t stop. I had to take my nose stud out and then I couldn’t get it back in. It lasted around 10 minutes and I hadn’t had nose bleeds since I was younger. I had a massive tension headache too which I had assumed was part of my hangover although I never really suffered from hangovers apart from a tummy ache.
From that day I started acting a bit stranger than usual. I was starting to be late for work and I would find myself wasting all of the morning just sat on the sofa not realizing the time. On 30th July 2014 I started to notice my strange behaviour, I was so itchy all over my body and I couldn’t stop scratching myself. I tweeted at 01.17am
so itchy!! 😤 at this rate I’m gunna have no nails or skin left! Grr 😷😴
I also started to notice that all I could focus on was people’s noses. I was in asda shopping and I couldn’t focus, I was starting to panic as everyone looked the same but Martin couldn’t see this, I really thought I was going crazy. One of my tweets was at 21.07pm
literally all I can focus on today is people’s noses and how Everyone looks the same #propertripping #needtoeat 👃
I couldn’t tell anyone apart, everyone looked the same and it scared me so much! I honestly thought I was going mad and couldn’t stop telling Martin and my parents how everyone looked the same. This went on for days.
This is all I can remember from looking through my diary, notebooks, Twitter, Facebook and instagram. And from what I’ve been told from my boyfriend and family. So far we just think I am going crazy and losing my mind, little did we know how August would be the worst month of my life!